I Have a Dream

I have a dream . . .

. . . of living on a small homestead with gardens, chickens, and a few cattle (enough for us, and to donate to our benevolence center at church).  A detached garage under an in-law suite that will house a child who aged out of foster care who we are mentoring and helping to learn how to live on their own until we can release them into the world successfully (would love to start a program like this).  A small comfy office with my name Michelle Cain, CPA, and the words Financial Counselor/Planner underneath.  Increasing our income by accepting clients who can pay my fee, while giving free services to those who can't afford me, widows, foster parents, and children who age out of the system.  One, two, maybe three adopted children.

How am I going to get there?  What are the steps (not necessarily in order)?

1. Lead FPU classes at church (if they will allow me)
2. Obtain my Accounting degree, then my CPA
3. Attend Dave Ramsey's Counselor Training Program and start using it at church
4. Cash flow night classes to get a Finance degree
5. Cash flow night classes to get a Counseling degree
6. Buy our homestead; build the garage/in-law suite
7. Start a program for kids who age out of foster care
8. Adopt - between any of these steps

With 43+ working years left, this is totally doable, while still allowing for wealth building to leave an inheritance for my children's children.  I want to live a life that leaves a legacy.  I want God to use me to reach out to the ones who are close to his heart.

Jase's Baby Blanket

I finally finished the baby blanket for my newborn nephew, Jase.  The last of the ends were woven in late at night on December 26th, and my sister gave birth to sweet little Jase December 27th.

Here are some of the photos with the knitted blanket:

Isn't he so precious?

I used the pattern 'Child's Knitted Blanket #690' which can be found either on Ravelry.com, or on the Lion Brand website.  The yarn is a soft wool blend from the Martha Stewart collection, and is the color Green Eucalyptus.  It is my favorite blanket pattern thus far.  Though time consuming, the finished piece is well worth the effort.

As a side note, I have a wool allergy, but this yarn did not bother me.  It can be washed and dried on the hottest settings, and, like some superwash merino wool blends, seems to have most of the protein washed out of it, thus reducing the risk of a reaction for wool-allergen sufferers.

No cable needle is required.  The simple lace pattern gives an illusion of cables.

Brokenness

Nic and I have been reading a chapter a night from the Brokenness/Surrender/Holiness book, by Nancy DeMoss, that my cousin Jess had sent to me last year. While reading about brokenness, I have realized that the moments in my life that stand out the clearest, that brought about the most change in me, were during periods of extreme brokenness. My sister, Colleen, took me to a Sunday night church service the day after my 18th birthday. I was doing all the wrong things, taking my life in the wrong direction, but that night I rededicated my life to Christ. I see it so clearly; what song was playing while I was face-down on the floor sobbing; how I could not see anyone else though the room was packed; and the heaviness that was on my heart . . .until it wasn't. And I was free. It had nothing to do with the sermon, since this happened before that. I was already broken. It was just the moment that I brought that brokenness before God and humbled myself before him.

About a year later I was on a first - and last - date with a man.  A few of his friends were around, but at some point I ended up alone with him at his apartment.  And long story short, God opened a door for me to escape before being raped.  I went home, ashamed and feeling dirty, trying to wash off the feeling of the sexual assault.  The next morning, as the sun was coming up, I drove to my grandparents house (who were away), and lay on the floor of their gazebo.  Sobbing.  Pounding my fists on the ground and crying out to Jesus to wash away the filth.  The crawling all over my skin.  The invasion of areas that were only meant for my husband.  My energy spent, I passed out.  When I awoke a few hours later, I had no pounding headache that normally comes after crying, the feelings of shame and disgust were gone, and I could feel the presence of the Lord with me.  I remember that moment so vividly.  The colors of the world had gone from dark and dull, to vivid and bright.  I had been completely healed.  And to this day I continuously thank God for that moment, that I would not bring any of it into my marriage with Nic.  I thank him for protecting me from even worse, and I pray and cry for the women who could not get away, that the Lord would heal them in an even greater way.

Last year, when my cousin Jess mailed me this book, it was because I had just gone through something very difficult.  I had a 'false' pregnancy, if you could call it that.  I knew Nic and I were unable to have children, but I began to have all the symptoms, down to an internal exam by my OBGYN who was convinced I was carrying a child.  Things were happening that I had never experienced with my body before.  I showed signs of being 6 weeks pregnant.  The problem was, I was NOT pregnant.  We still have no idea how or why it happened, but it was painful.  I have always wanted my own children.  I thought I would have 10 little ones running around the house.  If you know me, you know I love children.  So finding out that we were unable to have children of our own, for quite a few reasons, has been heartbreaking.  However, through that brokenness last year, God had spoken to  both Nic and I about adoption.  That's a whole story in and of itself.  The point is, He is calling us to something greater than ourselves, that we may not ever have been able to do had it not been for our inability to conceive.  And through His calling, I have found a sense of healing.  I still grieve over never knowing what it would be like to carry my own child the way that God had designed.  I will probably always grieve.  But it is not without hope, knowing He will use us in greater ways.

It is this same brokenness that pushes me to purge things from my life (when I rid our home of all the unGodly books, CDs, DVDs, etc), and go cold-turkey off the things that draw me away from God, until I can feel his presence again.

Sometimes I ask people their story. When was that moment that they came before the Lord and accepted his ruling in their lives. And so often I get a blank stare, or that they don't 'remember'. I never understood that. But as I am reading this book and reflecting on my own story, I think I remember these moments so vividly in my own life because of that brokenness. Those moments when I couldn't do life on my own anymore, so I gave Him back the control. Knowing what it did (and continues to do) for me, I pray that others can come to that point of brokenness, so they, too, can know that feeling of freedom when the weight has been lifted from their shoulders.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.

Isaiah 57:15

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3

Crocheted Ice Skate Ornaments

I have been crocheting these little ice skate ornaments like crazy lately.  Originally I was using other colors (red ice skates with white tops, green tops, gold tops, blue ice skates with white tops, etc), but after sending a few to my Mimi, she told me my aunt mentioned that white would look great on a tree.  So, I began knitting up white and loved how they were turning out.  It's more of a cream color, really, but delicate and soft.

This is supposed to be our first adoption fundraiser.  Although we do not plan on starting the adoption process until Nic's student loans are paid off, the $30,000+ it will take motivates me to start preparing even now.  I wanted to put myself into the process, where every dollar feels earned in some way.  I want to feel the sacrifice, and emotionally invest in bringing our child(ren) home.  Knitting and crocheting is just one way for me to do that.  When I am on my lunch break at work, waiting for Nic to pick me up after work, in the waiting room at the doctor's office, or in the truck with Nic on a long trip, keeping my hands busy and my heart consistently attached to the end goal of holding our future son(s) or daughter(s) helps me to continue on.  So, while it may seem silly to spend so much time crocheting an ice skate ornament only to get $1 to $2 for it, it is a spiritual process for me, and I can see the progress in my head as a step forward.  Each ice skate is one more step forward.  And I'll take those tiny little baby steps, because it means we are moving; we aren't standing still; it is not unattainable.

I have been discussing with Nic whether to open an account specifically for money earned from adoption fundraisers, or whether to throw it all at the student loans right now (to cut down on interest charges) until we actually start filling out the dossier and doing the home study.

I plan to mail these out to my Mimi and Tina in the next few days.  They are helping me by putting it on card stock and in plastic bags to sell at a boutique this fall.

If you want some hand-crocheted ice skates for your Christmas tree this year, let me know and I can whip some up and mail them out to you.  :)

Sevenly - Giving in a Christ-Centered Way

Image by: https://www.sevenly.org/

Sevenly is a website devoted to raising awareness for charity organizations, by featuring 1 cause each week and creating shirts to sell to raise money towards their goal.  $7 of the sale of each shirt goes directly to the charity.

MISSION: To harness the power of art and community to build sustainable awareness and funding movements that support charities in their efforts to change the world.

PURPOSE: We believe in the value of the human being, and that there is no greater calling than to provide, heal, rescue, and serve others.

VISION: To be the world’s most effective cause activation platform leading a generation toward intentional generosity and love for others.

Their overall purpose is driven from this verse found in the book of Matthew 22:36-40.

"“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ’This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

This week, Sevenly is focusing on the charity Pencils for Promise:

Problem

With the start of a new school year, many of us can remember the excitement (and dread) of going back to school. But what if you were denied access to education? In Guatemala, this is the reality for most of the population. In areas where schools exist, 85% of them are inadequate, lacking sufficient space, classrooms, electricity, clean water and sanitation. Since the average child only attends school for 3 years, this is a world where children have little opportunity for a future.

Solution

Our goal this week is to build two classrooms for a village in Guatemala! If we raise $20,000, we'll be able to fund not only the entire cost of the construction and labor, but also supplies. Because of you, hundreds of children will receive education and hope for a brighter future! 

Surprise Newspaper!!

Two of my sisters, Tina and Faith (she will be 11 years old this month), surprised me with a handmade newspaper - customized to my life!  Shocked, I received it in the mail.  That weekend, my creative stepdaughter and I set about to reply to the newspaper, mailing out our own envelope of goodies.

Here is the newspaper they sent (click on the photos to enlarge):

I wrote back a letter to the editor, in outrage that the author of the front page article thought a grandmother could not knit ReTP, a question to Dear Gabby, and I sent a resume/cover letter for the CEO of the fictitious National Knitters of America (NKA) position from the classifieds. Channah wrote a few Dear Gabby letters, and other goodies herself to add to the envelope.

Tina may scan them in and I'll upload our replies later.  It is my understanding that when they received our envelope, they replied and we should be receiving something in the mail either today or tomorrow.  It's like having snail-mail pen pals all over again!!  What fun!!

Romans 10:15

And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

~~~

Michelle


**EDIT**

Here is my letter to the editor that I sent back to Tina and Faith:

Michelle Cain

President of ReTP

To: Nashville News Headquarters

Dear Editor in Chief;

I am OUTRAGED over your article on the front page of the 1^st Edition of the Nashville News (Monday, August 20, 2012), titled “Knitting Fever Outbreak” by Jill Crochet.  As the owner of ReTP, it angers me that you would insist that anyone (let alone a seasoned grandmother!) would fail at their attempts to knit this ingenious design!

Also, to add further insult, the article not so subtly implies that Knitting Fever is a BAD thing!  As a news source, have you been following the economic crisis?  Knitting Fever is helping stimulate the knitting/yarn industry, helping us thrive and forcing us to CREATE jobs!! Are you saying stimulating an industry is bad?  Or are you saying it is only bad because it involves knitting, and the last name of the author is crochet, so they MUST be prejudiced against those with two needles!

Actually, now that I think about it, it seems to me that this is a form of discrimination. I may need to file a lawsuit unless you intend to recant the claims made in your article and fire that awful ‘author’ (if you can call her that!).

I look forward to your next issue when you correct these wrongs, or I’ll see that your paper is ruined!!

Not so sincerely,

Michelle Cain, President of ReTP

ReTP - The Actual Wording in the Pamphlet, Memo, and Recall Notice

These are the actual words in the ReTP Marketing Pamphlet, Employee Memo, and Recall Notice, in case you were unable to read it from the pictures:

(I apologize for the poor formatting.  I am having trouble formatting the text in Blogger, so some things will not center, and others will.)

Marketing Pamphlet (front)

ReTP

Reusable Toilet Paper for the Conservative Conservationist

You don't want to go without toilet paper.  We understand.  But you also don't want to kill trees and waste money by buying it over and over and over again.  ReTP - a product you can roll with!

With ReTP you can do all the fun things you can do with normal toilet paper, and THEN some!  We have designed ReTP to appeal to your multi-purpose lifestyle.  ReTP is the Swiss Army Knife of toilet paper, but without any annoying blades to sharpen.

The only limit to ReTP is your imagination!

(top right photo: Stick something up your nose and have a nosebleed?  ReTP can help!)

(bottom right photo: Need an alternative to buying costly toilet paper and killing trees? ReTP can help!)

**Note the book on the back of the toilet and under Nic's arm is 'The Agony and the Ecstasy' by Irving Stone**

Marketing Pamphlet (back)

You have a LeakAlertor; you recycle; you buy organic food.  You use all the 'Green' products on the market, including recycled toilet paper, but you don't feel that is enough.  It's not!  ReTP can help you take it to the next level!

Alternative Uses for ReTP:

~Use it as a bandage!

~Use it as a sweatband!

~Use it as a cloth napkin!

~Use it as a towel!

~Use it instead of a baseball to play 'catch' with your kids!

~Use it as a bath cloth, dish cloth, face cloth!

~Use it as a flag!  Wave it to show your 'Green Pride!'

~Use it as a teething toy for infants!

Care Instructions/Pricing Information

ReTP is made with your laziness in mind!  We know that you hate to spend too much time taking care of your belongings – that was SOO 1970!  You would rather throw it away and buy a new one.

That’s why we make ReTP with 100% cotton!  Throw it in the laundry with your towels – or if you use ReTP AS your towel, throw it in with your clothes!  We don’t care, throw it in the dishwasher!  Or, don’t even bother washing it.  Hang it on the towel bar in your bathroom to dry!  ReTP is so easy to clean.

Who cares about germs and bacteria anymore?  Spray it with Lysol.   If you believe in the 5-second rule when you drop food on the floor, don’t even bother de-germinizing it at all, you ingest a ton of harmful bacteria already and you’re still alive!

ReTP is made to order.  When writing/calling/emailing your purchase requests, make sure to take into consideration how many you will realistically need.  Because of the personal intimate nature of ReTP, we recommend you buy one for each member of the household – including the animals.  Once you have a ReTP, we guarantee you will bring it with you wherever you go!

$19.95/each (1-5 units)

$18.95/each (6-10 units)

$18.45/each (11-100 units)

$18/each (101-150 units)

$17.95 (151 – 200 units)

$17.90 (201 +)

We do not give further discounts, don’t ask

No Returns, No Refunds

ReTP – the perfect gift for the person who has everything else!

Employee Memo:

Attention All n^th Solutions LLC Employees, Owners, and Occupants

The LeakAlertor^tm was a wonderful idea but not enough.  Water conservation, but not tree conservation?  What were you thinking?  Don’t worry.  I’ve fixed it for you.

You must now use the ReTP (Reusable Toilet Paper) at every bathroom visit.  This one ReTP shall be shared equally between everyone, regardless of age, race, gender, or reason for use (#1, #2, #3, etc.).  Nothing says Family like sharing your germs, and remember . . . this is a family company. 

Hang to dry and spritz with Lysol or Fabreeze as needed.

Think ‘bottom line’ – it will save money and increase my inheritance.

Thank you,

Michelle Cain

Recall Notice:

Press Release

Voluntary Safety Recall of ReTP

ReTP Knit Manufacturing has determined that a defect which relates to public health safety exists in ReTP Toilet Paper and is issuing an urgent voluntary recall.

Orlando, FL, June 27, 2010: Due to unforeseeable hygiene issues with ReTP, we have been notified by multiple agencies that many of our customers and gift recipients have contracted Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease after using ReTP as bathroom tissue followed by other uses, such as infant teething toy and toothbrush wiper cloth without disinfecting between uses. If you experience any of the following symptoms, please see your healthcare professional immediately: fever, poor appetite, malaise, sore throat, painful sores in mouth, or non-itchy skin rash with or without blisters. Other concerns include a possible outbreak of the Bubonic Plague.

ReTP Designer, Michelle Cain, has this to say; “We were pioneers on a new frontier. Everyone knows when you walk into unknown territory that there’s risk of being shot with a gun. It happens. Move on. There was nothing we could have done to prevent this from happening, because we were unaware that it was even possible. It was unforeseeable.”

For this reason we advise all ReTP owners to either:

• Mail back your new or used ReTP as soon as possible.
• Throw your ReTP in a hazardous materials trash receptacle.

Information about Mailing Back

If you decide to mail your ReTP back to us, please be aware.

1. We are not issuing refunds. As we have stated, these problems were unforeseeable and could not have been prevented. We were pioneers on a new frontier.

2. You will be responsible for your own shipping fees.

3. You will not receive a new product. No new ReTP will be designed to correct this issue.